Hahahahha. . .alrite jus for today, my very 18th birthday, I am goin to post this very hilarious joke. Just for today. . ok?

I am putting myself at risk for posting this. . but like i say, it's jus too farnie not to be shared. .








Sun Exploration

Four delegates from China, Russia, the United States and Malaysia attended the United Nations' Meeting. All the nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2010. Here are some of the conversations:

China Delegate: 'By the year 2008, China will start their moon exploration project. '

Russian Delegate: ' We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon.'

US : ' We the United States will also explore the moon for second time.'

Malaysian Delegate: 'By the year 2015, Malaysia will explore the sun.'

There was a long silence, US stood up and asked the Malaysia Delegate: ' Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?'

Malaysian Delegate (smiling): 'I had this thought out already. We will do it in the evening.'





Funy anot??

Laugh leh!

:)

Saw this headline on the news yesterday. . .
"New buildings required to install more cubicles in female restrooms"






Even with more cubicles, women will still take more time in the loo than men. For men, it's fast and simple:
1) Unzip
2) Position
3) Let loose
4) Shake it
5) Zip
6) Wash hands
7) Dry
8) Exit toilet

Of course, I've seen my share of those who don't wash their hands or don't dry it properly, along with other optional activities like hair combing, zit squeezing, etc.

For women, I'm not really sure but it definitely involves more actions and they do usually preen more in front of the mirror.

Toilet is a place to dump and leave........

For women.. the toilet's a freaking socializing place.

Guy go toilet for small business 1 min

Gals go toilet minimum 5mins

should i call the cops for this thread?


In any case, if a person shows a bigoted point of view, is it not more important to educate him than to punish him for what he believes?


These 2 bros are just scapegoats. Garmen just want u to know that watever u post on the internet they also can sue u !

So better watch u say/write in the future !

No freedom to talk outside. Now cyberspace also bo freedom liao.

7 things that scare me..

1. Blood
2. Injections
3. Dentists
4. Losing a job
5. Rejections
6. Army
   
7. Crashing my Dad's car
   

7 things that I like most..

1. Sex
2. Money
3. Sweating it out
4. Food
5. Compliments
   
6. Photography
7. Music
   

7 important things in my room..

1. Laptop
2. Bed
3. TV
4. PC
5. Playstation
6. DVDs
7. Wardrobe!

7 random facts about me..

1. I'm sat in a helicopter before
2. I'm a moneygrabber! Yeah...shallow...but I realised that in Singapore, MONEY is really everything!!
   
3. I scored 255 for my PSLE
   
4. I scored 2 F9s and 1 E8 for my Os.
   
5. I learned the lion dance when i was young
   
6. I play rugby for school!
   
7. I hate the taste of alcohol/wine/spirits/beer.
   

7 things I plan to do before I die..

1. Travel to Europe/States!!
2. Own a car, preferbly a MVP/SUV
3. Sky dive/bungee jump
4. Snow ski
   
5. Scuba dive
   
6. Have kids
   
7. Be my own boss
   

7 things I can do..

1. Windsurf
2. Imitate a strong M'sia accent
   
3. Drive
4. Make a short fim
   
5. Whip up the meanest pasta u ever tasted
   
6. Read maps
   
7. Travel out of SG on my own
   

7 things I can't do..

1. I can't sing
2. I can't save for god's sake
   
3. I can't lose weight
4. I can't resist taking a 2nd look at pretty gals
   
5. I can't live without money..
6. I can't help but to feel disgusted with Indians.
   
7. I can't whistle properly
   

7 things I say the most..

1. Ooi!
   
2. Really?
3. Bro/Dude
4. Is it?
5. No problem
   
6. ok
7. Aiyoh/Aiyah

7 Celeb Crushes!..

1. Kristin Kreuk <==Smallville
2. ANDREA CHOW <==My current fav
3. Helen Chung, Chang Hai Jie <==Ex-Ch U newscaster
4. Glenda Chong <== Channel NewsAsia presenter
5. Le Yao <==Channel 8 actress
6. Samantha Tan <== From Eric Khoo's Be with Me
7. Angeline Jolie <==Kick yourself in the ass if u dunno her

7 people I'll love to see doing this.....

1. Vincent
   
2. Gerry
3. Rachel
4. Candy
5. SQ
6. Leon
7. Claine
   

Latest score.

Mozzie Bloodsuckrs 1 PAP Bloodsuckrs 0

PAP getting its arse kicked by Mozzies.

Finally, there are better bloodsuckers in town than PAP.

Come to tink bout it, those overpaid ArseStar* scientists shud be doing something useful like findin a vaccine or smthing, instead of inventing some shitty urine-powered crap.








And to Mr Anonymous, SCREW U BIG TIME, understand!


Who are you to say me?

I am just statin what i feel and thats it. How dare u come and shit in my place and still cry father cry mother.

This is my cyber home and i want to decorate my home how i want to. U have no farking say in it.

And i can say GET A LIFE! Its old chips off the block like you thats preventing S'pore from moving forward.

BLEH! And if you got BALLS, write down your name. Dont just leave a Anonymous.

IDIOTS!






Thanks to Mango for sharing my views. .

Another stupid letter in Shitty Times. .


Skydiving is too risky for S'poreans

I refer to the article about skydiving that appeared not too long ago in The Straits Times.

I believe that skydiving is too dangerous a recreational activity to be made available to the people.

Even the safety of professionals cannot be guaranteed, let alone the people new to the sport.

Roger Nelson, founder of the Skydive Chicago was an accomplished skydiver. Yet he died in a freak skydiving accident in June 2003.

Even an instructor, who has dived several times, could not free himself from malfunctioning equipment. What chance of survival would a student have facing the unknown? Roger Nelson is not the only case.

Several people have lost their lives in skydiving.

Skydiving's an intricate process. When one tiny malfunction in the equipment occurs, it causes a chain reaction that effectively seals a person's fate.

A spare parachute may help to reduce the risk but if it was really that effective, why are so many people still dying due to freak accidents?

Also, if we factor in weather considerations, we would have a lot of problems to contend with.

Steering the parachute while airborne is not as simple as it looks. It's even harder when unpredictable winds blow the skydiver in all directions. These winds can occur instantaneously without any warning.

After overcoming these two problems, we still have one more to take care of - landing. Just one slight mistake could cost you a trip to the hospital.

Recently, a commando injured himself while rehearsing for the National Day Parade as a result of landing problems. The commando was a veteran.

I hope you can see why I do not think skydiving is a safe sport.

Cheong Fu Ginn













OMFG!

Driving is very dangerous. The government should look into the matter and steps taken to discourage or ban driving in Singapore. Look at the death rates and accidents in Singapore. I am in utter shock to see how people drive in Boat Quay. This must be put to an immediate end - Driving in Singapore.

Why not ban playing soccer too? high chance of fracturing your limbs and a few freaky incidents of heart failure while playing it

Forum and internet is dangerous too. That according to survey, more young individuals are indulgd in some sleazy activities and it gets worst for kids with GF will resort to Auto-erotic Strangulation that in most cases led to death. I hope the authority will look into this and ban internet.


Izzit the papers, the writer or wad? THis is just getting plain stupid.

ST should stop publishing this kind of stupid letters. Whoever is the editor should be sacked man. This kind of letter serves no purpose at all except to show how shallow the writer is.

To Cheong Fu Ginn
Be Responsible for your life and don't be a Sillyporean!!!, everything in life got risk, know your limits and play safe.


Nowadays ppl getting stupider and stupider.

"I was surfing the net today when I stumbled upon this particular picture that has lead me wondering if I should in fact be so proud of myself getting new sneakers or complaining that the new shoe is giving me blisters.



I know I am absolutely shameless to be putting this here myself, but, I felt people should know this."

- Phreaque-Talk




Unbelieveable.

The next hottest thing on your TV. . . .























Oh man, she just has the word HOT written all over her. She's the next best thing that has happened on TV after Lana Lang on Smallville.

Just in case you dunno, her name's Andrea Chow and she's a recent addition to the current line of news presenter @ Channel News Asia.

She made watching news a joyful event.

A captivating news reporter on channel newsasia, both news-reporting technique and appearance sense, with her alluring occasional smile, i'm just simply bewitched by her. her charisma is really beyond words.

I'll give 5 yrs of my life away to spend a weekend with her in a classy hotel where the door is programed to open on day of check-out only,a well-stocked wine chiller and butler service for meals.. . joking la.

She has the kind of face i would like to make gentle love with for the weekend, and if she moans.......and asks for more, I'll add another year.

Beware, her smiles can hold you spellbound!

If she gets any hotter, i think i will just die of heat stroke!


Ladies, just watch and learn from her body langauage. The way she walks and talks, and I assure you, MEN will come flocking after you like bees to flowers.

WARNING : DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A RELIGIOUS FREAK/FANATIC.

Disclaimer: The post you are above to read is not intended to criticise or humiliate any religion, faith or belief in anyway.

Anyway, here goes!




God Admits Responsibility For Hurricane Katrina

---

September 7, 2005, Heaven God has come forward in a public statement and admitted that He is directly responsible for Hurricane Katrina. In a surprise press conference called early Tuesday morning, the Almighty confessed to His involvement in last Monday's disaster which claimed the lives of at least 2,000 white people and 10,000 'others'. Looking unkempt and unshaven, God made the following statement: "Following intense speculation in the media over the past week, I wish to put rumours to rest and to assuage My own guilt. I was responsible for creating Hurricane Katrina, and releasing it over the southern United States. I've been drinking heavily recently, and I believed that my career as a deity was on the rocks. Allah's a good friend of mine, but I've been intensely jealous of the amount of press coverage He's been receiving these days. It seems like you can hardly change channels without hearing "Suicide bomber this", or "Jihad that". I mean, let's face it; Baptists are never gonna hijack planes and crash them into buildings, are they? But that's the kind of stunt that a deity needs His followers to pull in order to get noticed these days. When I heard about 9/11, I couldn't help but take my hat off to Allah. You can't buy that kind of publicity. So, I got drunk last weekend, and I got to thinking about the Cajuns. What's the deal with them anyway? Anyone who actually wants to sound half French deserves what's coming to them, if you ask Me. And the music! Oh My Me! I haven't heard anything like it since Sodom and Gomorrah. Then it struck Me: A way to get rid of those six-fingered-banjo-playing-hicks and usurp Allah in the publicity stakes. So I created the hurricane. However, having watched the news reports of the past week, I realise that there were many witnesses who have positively identified me; everyone I saw kept saying "It must be an act of God". I have therefore decided to turn myself in, leaving my son to run heaven in my absence." It is rumoured that federal police plan to charge God with numerous other acts of 'Natural Terrorism', including the 1980 Mount St. Helens disaster, the 1990 Chicago heatwave and the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. New New Orleans District Attorney, Bubba T. Flubba offered the following comment: "This sick individual has been plaguing our society with his so-called "acts" for long enough. Now it's time to make him pay for his crimes. We've been working closely with survivors over the past week, and nearly everyone we've spoken to has told us that they knew it was an act of God". It is believed that prosecutors will push for the death penalty, which has delighted Nietzsche enthusiasts across the country.

Ladies and gentlemen, the age old debate of. . . . . . . . . . . .




Being Woman. More advantages?


1. Women's Charter (No Men's Charter or similar form of protection?)

2. During divorce she entitled to alimony and half your assets.

3. No NS obligation

4. Starting pay and prospects still the same as guys

5. A 2 year head start because no NS

6. The stigma of being a spinster these days is no longer relevant

7. Their money is theirs, their husband's money also theirs

8. Household chores is no longer the main domain of women, men are expected to do their share.

9 While the roles and expectations of women has drastically changed, those of men are still essentially the same.

10. When women expect the same rewards, its called equality. When there's shit work to do, men are expected are to do it because that's what gentlemen supposed to do.





'Nuff said.

I rest my case.