Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My funeral

Another bites the dust.

Last week, one of my neighbours living on the 10th Floor passed away. Its sad, but death is a inevitable part of life.

Havin attended 4 funerals all my life so far, I have come to terms that life is fragile.

One moment, I am kicking with life - the next moment, you will find me resting inside a yellow tent at the foot of my block. I told SQ befor, I hate that...not because of death but rather what people would do to me when I am gone. Here are some of those things that I would rather like to have for my funeral:

1) I have never slept in the void deck - and will never. So never put me to rest at my house void deck. It is so upsetting to spend my "goodbye hours" at the cold, hard concrete void deck. I mean the void deck is for those "relac-one-corner" malays to strum their guitar and play their soccer, not for a dead person to spend his finals hours on this earth.

2) No fancy monks chanting songs or some strange Tao-performance (like throwing paper money or Chingay Road Parade), please!

3) Obituaries. At first, I wondered why people "advertise" the death annoucement of their loved ones? Why spent that money... But then, I realised it may be good - so that such "advertisement" will disclaim my loved ones from any creditors / ex-girlfriends / unlisted sons and daughters I may have out there.
(Acceptance of artwork: Death Cert + Freehand file. 1000, Toa Payoh North. News Centre. Credit cards or cash.)

4) Music. Keep them playing in my house 5.1 system. What kind of music... So simple, play those I have in my laptop. Check my itunes.

5) Food. No preference. Just no smoking. ooh, and no alcoholic drinks. .sorry pals

6) Visitors. Okay, this is quite tricky. Cos' my house is small - so I have to be very selective. Please dun invite people that I dun know or have any direct relationship with.I will kinda freak out. I am not a saint or a public-figure...Just my family members, friends and loved ones.

7) Gifts. No blankets, no flowers. Send chocolate, tour packages (for my familiy to chill out/recover), farewell cards (write about how bad/good I have impacted your life), photographs of picture we have taken together (get a big AO cork-sheet board and stick it up), $50/visitor,etc. In return, you can take any 1 item from my collections (xbox games, toys, books, DVDs, CDs, gadgets and my porn collections) as door-gifts after the funeral. Jus dont snatch from each other

9) Attire. Please come in like you are attending a church wedding. It is rude not to RSVP.

10) Bury or Burn? Neither, I dun know, I leave that to myfamily. Cos' I am fearful of fire-burns and decaying bites by awful worms and maggots. Dun mummify me too. It is so unglam.

I will want to leave a peaceful piece of me behind...unburned or decayed. Just keep my memories and voices alive. (Invest in a LCD and store some video footages of me. When some one press the button on the tomb stone, the LCD will be turned on and play the footage.)

Keep a chunk of my hair, tied it nicely and suspend it a air-tight 7cm glass tube vessel. Make it zen, okay. Who knows, they may clone me (from my hair) again in centuries to come.

No matter how my body is being treated after the final day. Just place it near my family and loved ones. I hate to be lonely. (Dun throw my ashes into the big sea - I am not that romantic! I will kill you if you did. You can consider spreading my ashes at Orchard, Yishun, East Coast - my favourite haunts). Make sure you choose a nice scripture for my tombstone. Use font "Arial", size 20 for the writing - "In Memory of Eugene".

We have always been working hard for our life..but give so much little effort for our death. Most time, we troubled our loved ones to prepare for our death. I guess, it may be good if we spend some time doing a "to-do" list for ourselves. Life is so magical. So, let death be easy and well-remembered.

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