This is funny shit!



It's not difficult to make a woman happy

A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food and beer





What do u think ?

Is compassion something we all have?

Or is it something we acquire as we go along in life?

I've been pondering about this for awhile.

if we were to learn about compassion, will it then be fake because i do not feel it in my heart?likewise as we all sojourn through life we come across circumstances whereby our empathy and compassion is needed to help another person, do u extend it because u feel it in ur heart that it is something u must do or u do that thing because u feel compassion?

Is it then an obligation or is it empathy?

"My heart goes out to the kids I met today. I hope their spirit for learning never dies off despite the difficulties.

To the God they worship, help them. . ."

Phnom Penn, Cambodia
14 03 05
Youth Expedition Project

Singaporeans - This cannot, that cannot..

"Oct 25, 2005

Dad sees red over Portrait Of Home

THE Chinese drama, Portrait Of Home II, airs on Channel 8 during the 7-8pm prime-time slot on weekdays. This is the time that many families with children would be watching television while having dinner.

I have found that some of the themes in this series (as well as the earlier Portrait Of Home series), such as revenge among family members and the explicit cruel acts they do to one another, are unsuitable for young audiences, but my family has continued to watch the programme as it is a convenient way of exposing my children to more Mandarin (we are an English-speaking family). As it is on prime-time television, surely, it can't be too risque, can it?

However, the episode which aired on Oct 17 crossed the boundary of what is acceptable on prime-time television.

Towards the end of this episode, the character Shaodong showed the dim-witted Dayang an X-rated VCD to arouse him. (It appears to be a pirated VCD as there are no markings on it.)

Shaodong then encouraged Dayang to make sexual advances to his girlfriend Baobei that night and told him that he should force himself on her if she refused to accept his advances. . . . .blah blah blah

In my opinion, this scene is totally unnecessary for the development of the story. What message does this episode convey to viewers, especially young, impressionable ones?

It is the duty of members of the public to raise the issue whenever they feel that the line has been crossed, and mine is but one small voice to show the broadcasters and producers that the public is vigilant.

Dr Tham Chen Khong"

What the heck?!?!

I suggest the author to get a tutor to teach his children PROPER CHINESE instead of letting them learn the language by watching drama serial.

Parents should have control over what their kids watch. hell if want to keep everyone happy.. why not suggest mediacock put PG rated on the corner...singapore loves to give rating..here's another chance for the censor board

Farking typical of Singaporeans.Instead of exercising caution themselves Singaporeans always expect d gahment to do everything for them.What's new?

It goes to show that parents are not taking the responsibility on teaching their children that not everything on TV is correct. If they felt that their children is impressionable, then they should always be around their kids when the kids are doing something which might leave them impressioned.

If the fella think not suitable, then don't watch lar.... nobody focing him....... he expect everything to be CORRECT.....like that anyone also can be script writer and producer !!

There is nothing worth watching on TV anyway. The good shows would be available for download online.

In any case some of our younger generations are ready so morally inncorrect, some steamy scenes on NATIONAL TV won't do any harm.

This is indeed truly uniquely singapore ....

Death, its always been around us, everytime and every second of the day since the day we were born.

Its hard to see someone you know die, harder if they died right in front of you. But its all part and parcel of the thing we call "Life"

God knows how many times we came across this question of, "Why it happens", "What can we do", "Where will we be",etc. (I always do ask myself these questions, so I guess the rest of you guys do the same, unless I'm a REALL weirdo)

Everything that has a beginning has an end. Remember that the min you are born, you ultimate goal in life is to die. It is no doubt hard to experience the death of your love ones.

However, death isn't always such a painful experience. Its actually sometimes a good thing. It can be seen as the completion of a person's journey on this planet and he has finally moved on to the next lvl (various religions has different interpretations of after life). The fact that this person has completed his/her life cycle is seen as a glorious thing by some culture.


Talking about death itself, we all know where we are going to die. When its time for us to go, we will know it. Our brain knows when it is time for us to go. When it comes, our brain will sort of automatically shut down itself. There is no scientific proof for this. Its solely based on what I have seen. When my grand parents die, they know it and they exhibit similar symptoms. (e.g they keep playin the buddhist chants beside their bed)

Actually, if you look deep inside your heart. Why you feel sad abt someone's death is actually not because the person has departed. Most of the time, you feel sad because that person no longer exist. You can't bear having to know that someone dear to you is no longer with you. So, its more of the impact the death has on your life rather than the death itself.

Talking about value for life, we are the worst of any species on this planet. While we may talk abt valuing llife of our own kind, we treat other species on this planet worse than dirt. We exploit them to satisfy our greed etc. Sad indeed......

Like they say, When you are born, you will be crying and everyone around you will be laughing and smiling. When you die, you will be smiling and thsoe around you will be crying....

But we need to be sure of 1 thing. We Are All Going to Die, one of these days. So lets not waste our time while we are still around, walking and breathing.

A friend once argued with me when one of his loved one died in an accident, it was unfair for her to die as she was so young but it was all right for an old person to die as he/she is old ...

Fair or not depends on your religion and your attitude towards life.

People who believe in God thinks it's God's will.

Buddhists believe it's due to bad karma from a person's past life that cause a person to have a short life in this one.

Atheists believe it's blind chance that caused the accident.

There are no right or wrong answer.

There's no need to argue.

What's certain is that death will come to everyone.

Doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, healthy or sickly. The destination of life is the same.













Death is the only certainty.
"We all live to die. The meaning of life is not death, but how u lived that life till death."

"October 19, 2005—A veterinarian on the island of Réunion, just off the coast of Africa, prepares to remove a fishing hook from a pet dog's snout this past summer. The dog had escaped fishers who planned to use it as shark bait, according to the animal rights group that shot the video from which the image is taken.

Though apparently restricted to a few amateur fishers, the practice is now seen as a problem on the French-controlled island, which teems with stray dogs and cats. Local authorities this month fined a man for hooking a puppy, and the French government has issued a statement condemning the illegal practice."

Ps The photo above is NOT photoshopped. Its taken from National Geographic Website, so the photo is 100% REAL!



How inhumane can ppl get??

If there is no law... I will use the fishermen as shark baits by hanging them on their balls.

No no. . .I'll skin that bugger alive first, then hook him...






Farkers. . .

Fare cheats to be slapped with 50 dollars fine

"Commuters who cheat on their bus and rail fares will soon be slapped with immediate fines of up to 50 dollars.
Transport Minister Yeo Cheow Tong made the announcement in parliament as the Public Transport Amendment Bill was read a second time.
To deter fare cheats, there will be a penalty fee of 20 dollars for fare evasion and 50 dollars for abuse of fare concession. . . .
Mr Yeo also addressed feedback that public transport operators should be penalised when overcharging commuters.

He said cases of overcharging are usually due to system glitches."




I tell you its bullshit!!!!

It is SBS and SMRT's responsibility that the machines are working well to clock in the correct fare. Should they wanna enfore this rule, we should also be compensated $20 to $50 for the over-deduction of fares.

What he fail to realise that to get back those over charging, people have to travel to a centralised location, fill in a form and wait for a long time just to get back the small amount of money.

The inconvenience of travelling and time spend is more than the amount we can get back and hence many cases go reported.

I seriously dun mind such a rule is in place, provided its 2 ways. They are penalising passengers now, but they get away scot free should it happen to them? Wat the hell.

When u tout a system as world-class like wat the ezlink system had been claimed to be, u expect me to take frequent system glitches as an reason?????

Machines can glitch and humans cannot glitch?

So i scan at wrong stop cannot be glitch is it?

I am suppose to pay bcos 'geniuses' who designed it tot it can stop cheats and failed to think out of the box unlike old grandmas and aunties who figured out how to cheat easily.......

Why din they employ the old grandmas and aunties (I saw one who did that) to design the system instead of the 'world-class' geniuses?

If this act passes without a corresponding SLA penalty against the operators, then there is something wrong with the whole bloody system.....



Overcharged get a full fare refund or a voucher for a free bus ride?? why not a penalty of $20 to $50 to passenger for their poorly maintained world class transport system??

wrongful deduction of bus fare fallen drastically to only 0.006% are base on those whom have proceed to claim....... how about those unknown and unclaimed??

sounds like more crap to me. .


PS. . .YCT is dat idiot in www.yeocheowtong.com

Straits times talk abt End of The World...


Scary man

Watching the rain poring down outside my window, in stark contrast, just 3 weeks ago, Hurrican Katrina is weraking havoc in the state of New Orleans in the US.

And this is just one of the many disasters that Mother Nature has been dealing us with since the Tusnami attackin on Boxin day late last year.

Religious fanatics has always been tellin s how all this are a sign of things to come, the end of the World, The Apocalypse.

Just let me recall back the calendar of disasters, big and small.

DEC 26, 2004:
The world's strongest earthquake in 40 years sends giant waves crashing into South Asian, as well as East African, coastlines. The tsunami kills more than 220,000 people in 11 Indian Ocean countries. Economic experts estimate that the repair bill will reach at least US$13 billion. Almost 10 months on, thousands of survivors are still living in poverty, in camps or temporary shelters. Today, tourism remains badly dented, and rehabilitation and reconstruction efforts are still slow, hampered by corruption and inadequate planning and flow of funds.

JAN 8-12, 2005:
Northern Europe weathers its worst storms in 40 years as powerful winds and heavy rain sweep from Ireland to Russia. It leaves at least 14 dead, areas of Britain inundated and air and sea transport suspended. More than 250,000 homes and businesses are left without power.

FEB 6-13:
Weeks of torrential rain in south-western Pakistan leads to floods which burst three dams. Around 350 people killed across the country, 2,000 missing and tens of thousands left homeless.

FEB 22:
A powerful earthquake in central Iran razes villages, kills more than 500 people and leaves over 1,000 injured.

MARCH 20:
An earthquake rocks the southern Japanese island of Kyushu, leaving at least one person dead and more than 400 injured. Hundreds flee homes as buildings collapse.

MARCH 28:
A massive earthquake hits Nias, Sumatra. Approximately 1,300 killed and around 10 per cent of homes destroyed. Roads wrecked, telephone lines taken out and a steeple knocked off a church.

JUNE 10:
Heavy rains cause a flash flood which crashes down on an elementary school in north-eastern China, killing more than 90 people, mostly children. By the end of the month, floods in China kill more than 600.

JULY 10:
Hurricane Dennis slams into Florida and the Caribbean, leaving more than 30 dead.

JULY 18:
Typhoon Haitang rips through south-east China and Taiwan, claiming 15 lives. More than 1.36 million households across Taiwan left without power.

JULY 26:
Monsoon rains cause devastating floods in India's Maharashtra state and the capital city of Mumbai. Around 550 die in floods and subsequent disease outbreaks and building collapses in the city, with more than 1,000 deaths statewide. Repair bill estimated at between 5 billion rupees and 7 billion rupees (S$264 million).

AUG 5:
Typhoon Matsa batters China's east coast, killing at least 19.

AUG 16:
A powerful earthquake strikes north-eastern Japan, knocking out power to around 17,000 households, injuring at least 60 people and shaking skyscrapers as far away as Tokyo.

AUG 25:
Storms trigger floods in southern and central Europe and leave 42 people dead. Romania the hardest hit, with 31 dead. Remaining victims in Austria, Bulgaria, Germany and Switzerland.

AUG 29:
Hurricane Katrina slams into the US Gulf Coast. New Orleans is deluged and left in chaos, with flood damage to 80 per cent of the city. More than 500 left dead across Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida and Alabama.

AUG 31:
Typhoon Talim leaves a trail of destruction and more than 100 dead and missing on China's east coast and in Taiwan.

SEPT 6:
Typhoon Nabi wreaks havoc in South Korea and Japan, leaving at least 32 dead or missing and more than 140 injured, as well as flooding nearly 10,000 homes.

SEPT 11:
Typhoon Khanun destroys more than 7,000 houses, forces a million to evacuate and kills at least 14 in south-east China.

SEPT 27:
Typhoon Damrey rips through China, Vietnam, the Philippines and Thailand, triggering floods and landslides, and leaving around 120 dead as it wipes out farms, dykes and communications lines.

OCT 4:
Hurricane Stan hits Mexico and Central America, triggering mudslides in Guatemala, killing around 2,000.

OCT 8: Massive earthquake centred on Kashmir and affecting Pakistan, India and Afghanistan. Around 35,000 people believed dead, and about 2.5 million lose their homes.

Looking thru the list, by the rate of natural disasters the world have been experiencing lately, it won't be any surprising....

Now I gotta do what I want before there ain't no more chance...

Reason why girls nowadays like bad guys

After a small conversation with a close friend of mine, we agree tat we seen alot of such cases, and we were really wondering why.

I mean I am not sayin tat I am a saint myself and i am not at all a perfect person. In fact I think I have alot more shortcomings than my good points, if there are any in the 1st place.

But in anycase, I do think tat there is a explaination for the trend tat we are all seeing here.

As they say, "男人不坏, 女人不爱"
After some thinking thru, i might want to come up with my explaination for this.

Think of it as a spectrum...

"Nice Guy"|-----------------|Middle Ground|--------------|"Jerk"

The ends of the spectrum are the extreme.

On one end, you have the nice guy. Sweet, charming, loveable...but highly dependent, lacks self-confidence, highly insecure, etc. Basically, whipped.

On the other end, you have the jerk...rude, selfish, outspoken, but also confident, secure, and very independent.

It is those last three qualities (confidence, self-security, independence) that women are most attracted to.

It's important to note how women react to the spectrum.

Women are emotionally attracted to the nice guys.

These are the guys who they'll come to for emotional support - they'll be open and honest with them, and even expose their secrets and what not.

But women are physically attracted to the other end - the extreme right, the jerk end. It's not that they like jerks specifically, just the qualities they possess by nature (strength, security, independence...).

So what do women want?

Ideally, they want a guy who falls in the middle ground - is nice, sweet, caring, but also is confident, independent, etc.

When women say "Nice guys are hard to find", they are talking about the middle ground guys, who admittedly are a bit rarer than your average nice guy/jerk.

Oftentimes, if they can't find that middle ground guy, they'll work on averages...get their physical needs from the extreme right, their emotional from the extreme left, and that will give her a middle ground of sorts.

Or, women will start from the extreme right, the jerk end, and then try to bring the guy down to middle ground by "changing" him. They start on that end because that is what is attractive to them.

So the moral of the story?

To be a bad guy?

Nowadays girls keep complaining good guys hard to find, it's because of that, guys wanna be bad. Who want to be on the losing end?

Seriously, girls choose bad guys to have fun and fall in love, then later choose good guy to be married. Seen alot of such cases. Most of my friends say it doesn't pay to be a good guy.

Dunno, but i think being a good guy, one day will finally meet one good girl. Still praying, because i'm still single and 24!











Sad... Lol

PSLE blunder

"The board admitted yesterday that while the answer could be worked out using the data given, there was a 'flaw' in the question. It is 'mathematically not possible to draw such a figure', it said, adding that it was 'sorry about the flaw'. "


I ask my p6 friend liao...the question is: find the area of the square right below




. free marks ~so no one will get zero for PSLE Maths.

Lowest mark one can get will be 2 marks , those void deck guitar playing student must be smiling now.

Irresponsible ministry for just giving full marks to allf or that question. Instead of just saying a short sorry the person who set the questions should come out personally to apologise, hide behind for wat. typical ministry people when things c o c k up.They didnt consider that different students have different character, some may have spent alot of time in the exam trying to solve this question and end up failing or doing not as well as they could have.Only unaffected are the elite students who will get full marks or 90+ anyway

MY FOOT!



he said giving 2 marks to ALL the students unfair.

She too. ..


they must have got the answer right... scared everyone get 2 more marks will reduce their chances of getting into good schools . .

Typical S'porean Kiasium Mentality. . so this is the type of attitude tat our young generation has been brought up with. .

But this is the educational landscape right now.
I won't be surprised if there are still students who kill themselves over their studies.


**k k. .jus for all of u out there. .
By the principals of ratio, blah blah blah. . .

shaded area = 15 * 6 / 2
area c = 45 - 4 - 16 = 25.

Ok ok . .no mre political posts . . . . for tonight ok??

Heres smthing mre lighthearted. . for a beautiful early Saturday morning!

THE EURO ENGLISH

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

Did zis mad you smil??

Two bloggers get jail sentences for racist Internet postings

Koh was sentenced to jail for a month and Lim for a day.

Source: The Straits Times Interactive

amitahba~

amen~

hallelujah~

Might as well all cut off our tongues and blind and deaf us while they are at it.

If they can't even tolerate an opinion, tell them to go rule a place of the deaf dumb and stupid. What's their fvcking bloody problem?

In anycase, even if they dun get jailed ... their face was already pasted all over national TV .
no diff from being jailed ..

I mean Racism is a form of expression..... why jail them ?

It will just make them even more racist !

Racism will always be around. And jailing them is too harsh and not effective in dealing with the root of the problem.

Sg gahmen best at sweeping things under the carpet. But they are still there, just under the carpet one day will come out again


Lies n more lies
So much for a free and more open society. .



AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGG. . . . . . . .

Terrorist groups around the world (bet you didnt know)

Current List of Designated Foreign Terrorist Organizations

1. Abu Nidal Organization (ANO)
2. Abu Sayyaf Group
3. Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade
4. Ansar al-Islam
5. Armed Islamic Group (GIA)
6. Asbat al-Ansar
7. Aum Shinrikyo
8. Basque Fatherland and Liberty (ETA)
9. Communist Party of the Philippines/New People's Army (CPP/NPA)
10. Continuity Irish Republican Army
11. Gama’a al-Islamiyya (Islamic Group)
12. HAMAS (Islamic Resistance Movement)
13. Harakat ul-Mujahidin (HUM)
14. Hizballah (Party of God)
15. Islamic Jihad Group
16. Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan (IMU)
17. Jaish-e-Mohammed (JEM) (Army of Mohammed)
18. Jemaah Islamiya organization (JI)
19. al-Jihad (Egyptian Islamic Jihad)
20. Kahane Chai (Kach)
21. Kongra-Gel (KGK, formerly Kurdistan Workers' Party, PKK, KADEK)
22. Lashkar-e Tayyiba (LT) (Army of the Righteous)
23. Lashkar i Jhangvi
24. Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE)
25. Libyan Islamic Fighting Group (LIFG)
26. Mujahedin-e Khalq Organization (MEK)
27. National Liberation Army (ELN)
28. Palestine Liberation Front (PLF)
29. Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ)
30. Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLF)
31. PFLP-General Command (PFLP-GC)
32. al-Qa’ida
33. Real IRA
34. Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC)
35. Revolutionary Nuclei (formerly ELA)
36. Revolutionary Organization 17 November
37. Revolutionary People’s Liberation Party/Front (DHKP/C)
38. Salafist Group for Call and Combat (GSPC)
39. Shining Path (Sendero Luminoso, SL)
40. Tanzim Qa'idat al-Jihad fi Bilad al-Rafidayn (QJBR) (al-Qaida in Iraq) (formerly Jama'at al-Tawhid wa'al-Jihad, JTJ, al-Zarqawi Network)
41. United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia (AUC)

So u know wad to do if ever see any of this names anywhere else. .



WIth all the bombings of late. . i guess the terrorists must have been reading this. .





When will all these madness ever stop?

Screw those terrorists..may those suicide bombers never find peace in hell. .and BURN in the fiery pits of fire. . .

-_-''

STOMP!


One word. . .












MIND BLOWING!

'Nuff said. .