"Hello HQ, this is Captain Susan Long reporting from the frontline.

I am please to inform HQ that Operation Durex has been successfully carried out.

With relentless bombardments from our newly aqquired SPH fighter planes, equipped with the latest ST missiles. Led by Commanding Officer Davinder Singh, merciless raids by our SGers Netizens Infantry troops, Objective at Knoll(a small hill) NKF is now secured and ready for base setup again.

Intelligence Officers have told me how enemy soldiers have shit in their pants while running away, not knowing what had hit them. And in their panic, they left behind 8 Benzs, a gold-plated tap(which looks totally FUGLY) and a German imported toilet bowl.

Cash amounting up to 200 million dollars are found stashed in the basement below. There were unanimous decision to divide the money among the common citizens, since this money were originally plundered from their homes.

Unconfirmed reports have also come in that tyrant TT had been pushed back to Afganistan and is ready to seek asylum there.

Sir, the troops are at your disposal and is ready to defend this land when called upon to.

United we stand, Divided We fall

Over and out"